My daughter got up at 5.30am and my partner’s alarm clock was going off, so in order to have a quiet space to practice I went outside. I wasn’t all that keen as it was cold and windy, but I thought I would give it a go anyway.

As I sat to practice wrapped in my blanket I wondered how long I would last in this cool breeze, feeling chilly, the wind blowing my hair across my face, finding this a distraction. So to help me generate some warmth I started with the ‘Ah Un’ breath; sounds that vibrate in the belly and lower body creating an inner warmth. After one round of this breathing meditation, amazingly I did generate enough warmth to feel much more comfortable and relaxed and so I was able to start my Koan meditation.

Breathing into my belly and breathing out asking “Who am I?”, this question is meant to help you find your true self, so I reflected on this as I practiced. A few thoughts came in and noises from the neighbours, dogs barking and that chilly wind attempted to distract me, but I continued on anyway. To help me stay focussed I imagined breathing in through the crown of my head down into the belly and breathing out grounding down into the earth. I imagined reaching up into the universe beyond the weather to a calmer place and drawing that peace and energy down into my body.

This helped me to relax through my body, sinking down, letting go of tension and allowed me to connect with Reiki or universal energy. This reaching above the weather, reminded me of how we need to reach above the storm of our thoughts and emotions to connect with a calmer place and I suddenly realised that I had already found my true self before through practicing Reiki, so I no longer needed to search for it through my Koan question. All I need to do is connect with the universal energy of Reiki, reach above the clouds to that calm space and I can find my true self, my soul purpose, my deep inner peace.

I no longer needed to use the Koan question to find myself, but I continued to use it anyway, as I sat enjoying this peace and tranquility. When I came round opening my eyes, I realised how cold it was, I felt really chilly and brought myself up and came inside. With only 6 more days of my Koan practice left, I feel like I have found myself and realised that I already have this deep connection within. All I need to do is generate energy in my body and connect with the universal energy all around, to reconnect with myself and my true inner peace.