Coming to sit this morning, I was full of aches, pains and tension, but I was hoping that by sitting for a while I would relax and let go of all of this. I lit my candle and sat on my bolster and started my meditation.

To start with I just followed my breath, allowing myself to settle, I was aware of many thoughts and the aches and pains that had kept me awake in the night. But I continued on and started asking my Koan question, to start with thoughts continued to fill my mind and the aches and pains were distracting, but as I settled into asking my question, I was able to let go for a while.

This Koan question is supposed to lead to enlightenment, so I was keeping open and aware, searching for this state of enlightenment, wondering what it might be like. As I asked my question and listened for an answer, I suddenly let go of my search, as a thought popped up “I am already enlightened”, by being born human we are naturally enlightened, so I sat feeling free, no longer needing to search for anything feeling that it is already within me.

This was a lovely feeling, but my thoughts, aches and pains crept back in and with them doubts about this flash of inspiration came, thinking that it was all just my imagination. The aches and pains were too much now and I needed to change position, so I laid down on the floor and continued with my question. I decided that practicing the body scan may help, so I took a breath in to each part of my body and as I exhaled, I continued to ask my question.

As I went through the body, I relaxed and let go of the tension, sometimes I asked my question, other times I let it drift. At times I drifted off and forgot where I was, but I always returned to my body, making it all the way down to my feet. At the end I was very relaxed, the pain had been released and I didn’t want to move in case it came back. I rested for a little while longer enjoying the feelings of peace and tranquility.