Even though it was a lovely morning outside, I decided to stay indoors for my meditation practice, as I wanted to try kneeling over my bolster again and I felt like focussing on just myself and the question today.

Coming to sit in my comfortable position supported by my bolster and extra cushions for support, I settled into my practice by counting just my out breaths, breathing in open and aware, breathing out counting up to 10. I did this a couple of times, before changing the counting for my Koan question, breathing out asking “Who am I”.

A few thoughts popped into my mind, although I found it easy to stay focussed on my breath and the question today. I could feel tension in my body so I just took my awareness to the places of tension and continued to ask my question. I could feel myself relaxing down, fully aware of my body, breath and spiritual question. This question is supposed to lead to enlightenment, so I guess I am aiming to really focus on the meditation and find my answer, discover my true self or take a step towards enlightenment. I’m not sure I found any of this, but I did feel very connected to myself. When I am outside, I feel connected to nature and the universe, now inside with only myself to focus on, I felt deeply connected to my own body and mind. Just being aware of myself accepting and embracing any aches, pains or thoughts and continuing on with my question.

After 15 minutes, my leg began to hurt and as I didn’t want the pain to come back, I decided to lay down for the last 10 minutes, legs outstretched resting on the bolster, hands resting on my body, I could feel my breath in my body, the rise and fall of my breath, the rise and fall of thoughts and the rise and fall of aches and pains. Just resting open and aware asking my Koan question for the last few moments. Coming out I didn’t feel any particular flashes of enlightenment or feelings of deep peace and tranquility, but I was very pleased to have been able to sit on my bolster for a while and to have connected deep within.